July 01/07/19: Singapore - Do or Die

The final week of June and the 2019FY was one where I was sick and feeling rushed. I still hadn’t decided if I was going to go on a holiday and if I really should be going on a holiday anyway. I didn’t really have anyone to go with so it was weird enough but I also was wary that if I didn’t at least try something, then I might spend another six months going through the motions, and waking up at Christmas and realising that nothing was really progressing in my life. This was a tough decision for me and the time restraints were giving me headaches. It got to the Friday (28/06/19) and I decided that it was do or die, just speak to the travel agent and make a decision.

Delayed my lunch and went to the travel agent, had to wait 20 mins or so again for my travel agent to finish serving another customer - this was going to be another long lunch break. Eventually the man left so I headed inside. 

I kind of wanted to go to Hong Kong because I thought it would be an easy place for a first timer like myself, to adjust to solo travel. This destination was deemed too risky so I sat there feeling dejected. My options were (the practical ones anyway) Bali, Singapore and a few places in Malaysia. Bali seemed cool but I thought I might feel left out as many people in Bali (Australians) would probably be out partying; Malaysia seemed cool too but the destinations may have felt remote and may also have been targeted for honeymooners and couples... it looked like Singapore may be the most appropriate option. So I decided on Singapore so then we checked the availability.

Three days earlier I had come in and the Singapore availability was no issue, this time it did not look so promising. Again I felt dejected and hopeless, I asked if the availability was better if I flew out ASAP - thankfully it was! We went ahead and booked it all and I would fly out for five nights and I would leave 1am on Tuesday morning. I left the agency and headed back to work to transfer the money before COB.

Walking back to the office, close to 3pm, I felt uncertain again if this was a good decision or one I would regret. I spoke to mum on the phone and her confidence was reassuring, YOLO it was. Went back to work with a headache, made all the transfers and emails and then I did my best to make up lost time by working at my desk until 6 - 630pm. Went home and went to bed and decided I wouldn’t deal with any of the planning until Sunday.

Sunday passed and I got dressed up and went to work on Monday 01/07/19 for our EOFY lunch. This was the cruisiest day and I ended up having a few drinks and staying at our lunch until close to 530pm which was way later than I had planned. I quickly ran to Watertown to see if I could buy some thongs but the shops were all closed! Hurried back to Jolimont to pack, tired and a little tipsy after having three drinks. I was definitely behind schedule and did not finish the packing and make it to Coogee until after 8pm. It all felt very strange and I really just wanted to sleep but I kept on packing and before I knew it it was time to head to the airport and yeah I was wearing shorts.

The airport was lively, even though it was so late. I still felt out of place and confused as I killed time before boarding. I felt so lost but managed to buy some thongs though. Eventually boarding came and I fell in and out of sleep during the flight and endured the discomfort of flying which I always do.

KL airport

The first bit of excitement that I felt during the whole ordeal was when I had to navigate through Kuala Lumpur airport to find the connecting flight. This was early in the morning and this started to feel like an adventure. The flight ended up being delayed and I think I may have been the only Caucasian person on the entire flight. I thought “Am I going to be the only Caucasian person in Singapore? Will people question me as to why I wanted to go there in the first place?” Many questions that I was too tired to answer. I decided I wouldn’t be able to answer these questions until I got there.

Perhaps my shortest flight ever and one of the prettiest too and we were landing in Singapore. My stomach was so bad at this stage so I had to spend a lot of time in the bathroom before I could go through immigration. I had no idea how long immigration would end up taking! Lesson learnt. By this stage it was getting close to 1pm and I was starting to fatigue; I jumped in a taxi and left Changi as fast as I could. Still felt tired and low on energy and still contemplating if I should have booked a holiday in the first place. Arrived at the hotel and managed to check in. I felt so tired and lonely - was this one of the most reckless decisions of my life? I saw a few solo white westerners in the lobby as well and thought to myself that the only caucasians here may be the type that were looking for a wife or casual encounters, so this did not make me feel great. I told myself to go to sleep and then you can reevaluate once you wake up. I fell asleep.

Chinatown at night

I awoke, I felt better and decided I would make the most of the situation regardless of how I felt. I looked out of the window too, it was almost evening and it looked prettier than it did before; I was relieved. 

It was dark now and about 8pm. I got dressed and took the leap of faith and left my room - (this always feels so strange when you have been inside / sleeping the whole day and you finally leave your unit / hotel room to visit the outside world to continue your day but it is no longer daytime it is dark). I caught the lift to the lobby and walked down a side passage way which led outside. I opened the door and headed outside; it was much quieter, dark with lots of lights but still nice and warm. There were lights, buildings and plants everywhere and cars / buses on the road below. I felt so free and just wanted to get lost and go exploring.

I was hungry though and needed food so I walked across the pedestrian overpass to see what was on the other side. There was a big shopping centre so I went inside. The shopping centre had maybe four levels but it was seriously like a maze and I was having trouble making sense of where I was. I also felt a little anxious as I was realising that I was in Chinatown and there didn’t appear to be many Caucasian people here (I don’t think I’ve really felt this before 😂). It was really busy, I had no idea where I was but I knew I had to eat so I went looking for rice or something easy that my body could handle.

I remember when we had been to Singapore 12 years earlier, that there were cheap places where you could get Chinese / Singaporean meals for dinner. The shopping centre had like a spiral part which made it even more confusing but I found a cheap restaurant. Had like a chicken / rice meal for less than $10 and sat at the restaurant by myself, looking a little lost and out of place but this is not unusual for me.

Just like the Jurassic Park SNES game where you have the realisation that the raptors are getting into the building from a secret tunnel which is linked to another building which is like over 1km away, I started to realise that this very confusing shopping centre also had some weird glitches and I had somehow managed to work out where the supermarket was. I loaded up on food and then made my way outside and across the overpass and back to my hotel. At this point I was so happy and was considering going exploring outside, looking for shops, making Snapchat videos, taking photos but once I made it back to my room at 10pm, I was tired and knew I had to sleep. For the first time in so long I felt alive and in love with life again, was so strange being by myself but it felt so meaningful and it reminded me of many meaningful perhaps forgotten moments that I had experienced from earlier periods of my life.

Orchard Road

Points of interest:

- Watching tv in my hotel room everyday, watching MTV reality shows, watching movie channels and local tv shows.

- Going to Gardens by the Bay and the botanical gardens. Going to Gardens by the Bay and realising there were other Caucasian tourists here (young Europeans etc).

- Using the MRT train system a lot and getting lost underground everyday.

- Going to the hotel gym and going for a swim in the pool for the first time in a long time.

- Getting lost in Chinatown every single day and night.

- Playing on my phone and having hotel WiFi.

- Being so far away from Perth and work.

- Going to Orchard Road and getting lost underground and in their shopping centres a lot.

SD